Jul 31, 2009

I'm sorry

Okay, I think it’s time to break the silence. I owe an apology to all my blogger friends for going dumb without notice. I don’t know what triggered it, but I guess my second trip did it, or my plants giving up on me, or my camera giving up on me… I don’t know, which but something did and I suddenly lost the thing to blog. I guess that’s a Gemini thing, may be? I don’t know. The same happened to my writing. Yes, for those who don’t know, I’m a yet-to-become-fiction-writer. Of course, I completed only one novel and my failed attempts to get it published for almost a year and me getting my first job in another state than my home and many other factors stopped my writing and it shocks me that I no more write. The second novel is sleeping somewhere in a forgotten folder in my harddisk, waiting to be opened again and continued – god knows when that day would come.

Today, suddenly, that thought came to me – Am I gonna stop blogging like writing (of course I’ll resume writing fiction may be 5 or 6 years down the line)? That was a scary thought and only then did I realize that I even stopped visiting other friends’ blogs! Of course, I didn’t stop gardening – which I’m sure I wouldn’t, but the thing to write posts was suddenly forgotten, despite few people’s questions as to whether I’d come back. I know that was so mean of me, but again, all I can say is, “I’m sorry, very sorry for going uninformed.” Well, I’m back now and I hope this post makes me start the seed sowing mania again.

Okay, this summer wasn’t as exciting as last year, mainly because my plants were dying on me. Spider mites almost killed them and organic means couldn’t stop them. I finally had to resort to the chemicals. I can hear some of you gasp but hey, I wanted to save my babies and couldn’t watch them fight in vain and so I did it.

After what seemed like an eon, they gave out sprouts and now are doing well [touchwood]. As I said, my camera suddenly went black two weeks ago and is yet to go see a doc. I hope my cammie would be fine by next week. Until then, I’m gonna get myself busy sowing. I’m back again and see you all at your blogs. Ciao!


tina said...

Chandramouli, there is another blogger I talk to who did almost an exact same post as this one. Blogging is hard work and does take a commitment. That being said it is perfectly understandable that you and all bloggers take breaks. You owe no one an explanation and while we all feel like we do, truly we don't. I am happy to see you back but either way you go it is your choice and I wish you well in all you do. Do not be discouraged about your novel not getting published. It takes writers a long long time to get a novel published and is no easy feat. Writing is something that will always be with you whether you feel like doing it now or not, it is still there and you'll get back in the mood and be inspired. Hang in there and never fear about your blogging pals, we completely understand. I am glad your garden came back and no gasp from me on using other than organics to control the mites:)

Jamie and Randy said...

Welcome back Mouli! Sometimes blogging just has to take a back seat. :-)--Randy

Catherine@AGardenerinProgress said...

First of all you are not mean :) I'm so glad to see you back. I think many bloggers go through very similar feelings, I've had days that I've thought maybe I need a break.
I'm glad to see your flowers are coming back and that you are okay. Don't give up on your writing, you are so talented!! I'm sure when you're ready to start up again it'll feel good.

Anonymous said...

Dear Chandramouli, sometimes we all have those moments and it is good to step back and free up our thoughts. Tina's words ring true. We all welcome you back to the blogging world no matter what. The garden bloggers are the most supportive group in the world, IMHO, and will always be there for you. No matter if you take a break or not. We are so glad to see that your zest for life, which includes gardening, photography and writing is still living inside of you. Kram, which means hugs in Swedish.

Randy Emmitt said...


Glad to see you back at it! Sometimes taking a break opens ones eyes and heart for better things to come. Hang in there my friend!

Jamie said...

Welcome back Chandramouli! I also sometimes feel like having a break from blogging, and probably will do that sometime, too. But it's good to see In Art Lies My Heart back in action!

Rose said...

Glad to have you back, Chandramouli! I can understand completely your lack of desire to blog for awhile. Sometimes I think I am spending way too much time here and should cut back. Many bloggers I read have taken long breaks now and then for various reasons. I hope you continue blogging, but don't feel obligated to anyone if you decide not to. In the meantime, don't give up on your writing! Are you familiar with John Grisham? Every book he's written becomes an automatic bestseller, but his first book was rejected by 50 publishers. So hang in there! At least you have written something--I have always wanted to write, but somehow I can never get past the first page:)

Glad to see your plants are coming back for you; sometimes it takes extreme measures to deal with a serious problem in the garden.

Chandramouli S said...

Thank you, Tina, for all the support. More than feeling obligated, I felt that I missed my friends and that was the main reason that forced me to come back here and glad that I did :)
About my book, well, I'm not discouraged but I felt that may be it needs lots of editing and restructuring, which I've been doing for more than a year now, lol, at snail's pace, but as I said, I believe someday, you'd see Chandramouli in bookshops :) Thank you again.

I'm glad you understand, Jamie and Randy. :) Thanks a ton.

Thank you so much, Catherine. It's like speaking to your friends after long.

YES! True, Frances. This is such a wonderful world and people here are so understanding! That's what made me come back.

You're so right, Randy E., this break did open eyes and heart!

Thank you, Jamie. It's good to see myself back here and chat with you guys and see your wonderful posts!

I'm glad too, Rose. Yea, there are times when blogging almost crosses the line of obsession, but glad that we never cross over to the other side.
Oh, Grisham is my favorite and yes, even Sidney Sheldon had to sell his first novel to get to published! So, yes, I haven't given up but it's more like a looo---ooong writer's block. LOL!
My garden looks a lot fresh with the Rainy season setting in.

Mitr - Friend said...

Hey Chandramouli,
Check out my blog. There's some little gift waiting for you there...

prue said...

Yayayyayayay welcome back! Don't let the pitfalls of life get you too down. Every Booker prize winner took a long road to get there :) All the best with the next bits in your life fellow Gemini.

A wildlife gardener said...

We all feel like that from time to time :)

When it happens, just take one photo and concentrate on it. Sometimes there is no need for words. The photo can say what you are feeling, what you found to be beautiful, where your eyes have been. Like the old adage...a picture can paint a thousand words.

I loved your photos today, especially with the hoverfly, which gives the plant meaning and purpose :)

Tyra in Vaxholm said...

We all have our ups and downs, that's life dear friend :-) I said to my family that next year I would skip most of my veggies and they all shooted OH NO, this was when my potager was half dead because of the dry weather...Now both I and my garden are much happier.
I must say to you I REALLY enjoy your lovely posts/ xoxo Tyra


Not to worry. All of us go through these phases. However I am glad to see you are back to blogging!

Sunita said...

Chandramouli, don't worry... if you enjoy playing around with words, the itch to blog will never leave you. And I'm sure you wont give up on your novel either. Maybe a break has already done your first novel good. You can now read it with fresh (well, almost) eyes and spot where you can change / improve things.
BTW, is that a butterfly on your periwinkle flower? I tried clicking on the photo but it didnt enlarge for me.

Marion said...

Chandramouli, I am so happy you are back! Everyone needs a break now and then from blogging. Do not apologize. If all my plants had died, I'd have been under my bed crying for weeks on end!!!

I'm so glad your plants are reviving. I, too, would have resorted to any measure available to save them. I had to spray one of my Willow trees to save her and I do not regret it as she's thriving now.

Welcome back, friend! You, your flower friends, and your wonderful writing were truly missed. Blessings!!

Anonymous said...

Chandramouli, I'm glad you are okay, and just took a break from blogging. I was worried! I know we sometimes have to give up on our organic methods when things get tough. I've been fighting Japanese beetles all summer, and one day I just got angry and sprayed them all! But now I'm back to hand-picking them like a good gardener.

Kanak Hagjer said...

Welcome back, Chandramouli! It's good to see you again!

walk2write said...

I'm so glad you're back, Chandramouli! We have missed you but do understand that a break from blogging is necessary sometimes. I've cut way back on my visits and comments, and it's no reflection at all on the many fine blogs I no longer or only seldom visit. Life outside the blog is too important to feel guilty, so please don't! About the novel, have you thought about self-publishing it as an e-book? I'm not a novel writer so I don't know much about it, but it's something you might want to check into.

Antigonum Cajan said...

Your fans from the Spanish speaking fans are glad
to have you back. Good
luck in all your projects.

Sue said...

Hi Chandramouli,
I have trouble keeping up with blogging, and sometimes think about taking a break from it. I've noticed that other bloggers do take breaks.

I hope things go well with your writing. We saw a movie based on a book, called, Julie and Julia, about a writer who blogged about cooking recipes from a Julia Child cookbook. It's a good movie, and gives some insight into struggles writers go through.

Hang in there!

Chandramouli S said...

Mitr: Thank you so much, my friend. I'm honored! Thanks a ton! It feels great to be awarded - that's my first ever!

Prue: Thank you, dear sister Gemini! Booker! LOL! Okay, okay... may be that's a possibility :P

A wildlife gardener: So true - words of wisdom! The hoverfly amuses me everyday.

Thank you, Tyra. I can understand your family's reaction to it.

Raji: Glad am I too, Ma'am. Thank you for your support. :)

Thank you, Sunita. Those words cheer me up. Yes it is a periwinkle bloom - not mine though. It's from the poorly maintained pots of the watchwoman, but still the butterflies would ignore my Lantanas and Mexican Sunflowers and go to those periwinkles - at least when I'm there.

P.S.: Not sure why the photo wouldn't enlarge. I tried it in a different browser and enlarged okay for me.

Ta, Marion! You're true. When my plants were fighting in vain, I could care less about their medicines being organic or inorganic.

It's nice to hear, Robin, that I'm not alone when it comes to using inorganic stuff in emergency situations. :)

It's great to see you all and your gardens too, Kanak :) :) :)

Thank you, W2W. You're right!
About the e-book, I'm not sure. I'm afraid how the book would be welcomed. I have this constant fear that if I self-publish, people might say, "Okay! He's not confident about his own plot! That's why he resorted to Self-publishing." Besides, I can't afford to self-publish due to financial circumstances. But as I said, I'm gonna re-edit the novel and send out queries to publishers meanwhile.

Antigonum Cajan: I should thank you specially for your support. In fact your comment on my previous post made me feel that it's time that I come back :)

Sue: Thank a bunch, Sue. It's great to see your garden again and revel in it's beauty.

Phillip said...

Everyone needs a break now and then but it is good to see you back. Don't give up on your novel, just keep trying!

Prospero said...

Chemicals, gasp!

Chandramouli, don't give up blogging, or writing. Sometimes it's just good to take a break. But that's a different matter.

Jan (Thanks For 2 Day) said...

Hi Chandramouli, I hate to admit this, but I didn't even realize you hadn't been posting! I have been pretty bad about visiting blogs lately so haven't been here in a while! You sound kind of like me...I posted earlier this week about feeling like I needed to stop blogging, or quit Blotanical...just because I didn't feel I was doing justice to the website and I wasn't on top of visiting my friends! Now I've totally changed my mind and am back again, just like you! Sometimes this seems like a bit of a chore, I think. When that happens, we should just sit back and wait, until the right moment strikes to blog again. Quitting outright probably isn't a good idea...which I realized today when I was thinking about all of my wonderful friends who I would miss!!

Muhammad khabbab said...

great blog. keep posting. strangely the flowers blooming in my garden are same as yours. jasmine sambac, vinca,portulaca etc.

i am not sure about India but there are not a lot of flowers which survive the intense heat here specially in lahore. waiting anxiously for fall to come.

Antigonum Cajan said...

Perhaps you are getting old,
and your groupies have not
I am. Good luck in your
projects. Check my best inventory
updated.......if you get a chance.

DS said...

It's very comforting to see that I'm not the only one who lags on blogging, I've certainly been doing that lately. I like Jan's idea of following natural rhythms on this, doesn't that make sense for those of us who blog on nature and gardens?

OK, this will now be a SECOND, but I have an award for you at http://www.tulipsinthewoods.com/cataloguebookwebsite-reviews/beautiful-blogs/ should you decide to accept it.

About the novel: Jane Austen left her first drafts in a drawer for two years before she revised them. While you may not want to wait this long, my experience is that a few months gives much better perspective on how to shape the piece, because I'm no longer involved in all the tiny details and can see the whole more clearly. Writing groups (you could start one) or classes might be a good way to get some support; it really helps.

Wayne Stratz said...

how are you? I just emerged from a huge blogging break myself. hope all is well.

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